That shit is Bananas.

Apples
Oranges
Kiwi
Pineapple
Strawberries
Blueberries
Musk Melon
Grapes
Peaches
Pears
Grapefruit

Grapefruit? Looks and tastes nothing like grapes. It is almost like someone ran out of ideas, and just added the word Fruit to another kind of Fruit. If you ask me, that is just bananas.

Placemats #2

Issue number One

full moon boom

There is a limit, which I have disregarded,
to how much shrimp cocktail
a person should eat in one sitting.

Right now in my stomach cooked, chilled and chewed sea bugs,
seasoned with a blend of ketchup, garlic, horseradish,
lemon juice and worstershire sauce
are having it out with a six pack of canned beer.

I'm sending in a gin and tonic to referee.

recipe

Cooking
pieces of me
in a simmering sauce
of mistakes

I can taste
those dreams
I was too afraid
to chase

The next me
growing
from the carcass
of the last

Too big now
for fear
to hold me
back

the sun was a left hook

The sun was a left hook from my blindside,
knocked me staggering from a nap
towards some air and clarity.
Squinting through questions and stepping over cracks,
lost in glossed over shadows,
I closed the door, my eyes, a thought,
then jumped into a pile of work.

Secret Identity

whats making that sound?

are those spots on my eyes or something in the sky?

the air is a soup we can hardly see.

a tree falls on a truck

dad has a heart attack

an elderly woman dies in a tornado.

its all true today,

you cant make that shit up.

theres even more stuff

you can add it here:

the soup's bigger than i thought

i still don't know what's making that sound.

I Swear

If I could...

Just for a moment
Let me massage your mind.

Close your eyes
To the world be blind.

Listen to my whisper....

It is time for GONE BYE BYE!

Spent

we've all stop listening
of that I'm sure
our minds filled up
and our hearts impure
what we're saying doesn't matter
and what we mean of no cause
the purpose is lost
which gives us no pause
to strike up a reason
and march ever on
to the useless and wasteful
until the next dawn

2010, Year of the Mustache

A mustache is the rainbow over your can of beer.

Ultimatum

Give me coffee
or I
give YOU Death

Check the Lost and Found, it's gotta be around here.

FORTUNE.

Never, EVER read your fortune until after you eat the cookie.
That's what she told me.
And I followed that advice
with every fortune cookie since.

But today, in an act of defiance, an act of independence...
I read the fortune FIRST.

marinating.

dogs

dogs are pretty essential.

Imp

The Wait

Sometimes people in the ghetto

Especially when it is very cold

Will pull up in front of another house

Where they are most likely picking

Someone up who doesn’t have a car

And they will honk the horn

Almost always 3 times

They peer uncomfortably

and anxiously across

The passenger seat

at the front steps and the door

But no one comes out

Then they honk again

Usually 3 more times but sometimes 4

Eventually someone will flee from the house

As though it is on fire

run down the steps and jump in the car

The funny thing is that for all the time spent

Honking and blocking traffic the driver could have

gotten out of the car and gone up to the front door

Knocked, gone inside, been warm, said hello

But then it always comes down to the same thing doesn’t it

The question being, where do you want to wait

riding high

too much is too much

Beyond the Believable.

Today while driving to work, I was listening to garbage talk radio.
They were bantering back and forth about a recall on my make of car.
Apparently, the accelerators to some cars have been "sticking,"
causing cars to speed-up without the ability to stop.

It caused me to daydream, more than usual, about crashing my car.

A near life experience.

Like Tyler.

So, I started accelerating, on purpose.
Just to see.
80 came up quick. Then 85.
87 mph brought on some shaking of the steering wheel.
At 90 I had a hard time controlling the swerves,
it is Minnesota in the winter after all.
At 100 I spun wildly.
I saw a woman's face singing switch to screaming as I passed
by her Buick going backwards.
Backwards, and spinning.

I think she dropped her cigarette into her lap, but I'm not sure.

I turned up the stereo and decided to go out listening to
that morning show REALLY loudly.

But, the most unbelievable thing happened.

My car started going the right way, in its own lane,
at 100 mph, and I had control. I figured that since I didn't
crash, that I would slowly let off the gas, and show up
for work.

Having driven at such high speeds for so long,
I figured I'd be REALLY early, but it only ended up being
a couple minutes earlier than usual.
Even still, I don't like being early, so I listened to the radio a little
while longer, and eventually walked in.

It is Beyond the Believable.

At least I'm still on TV