That shit is Bananas.

Apples
Oranges
Kiwi
Pineapple
Strawberries
Blueberries
Musk Melon
Grapes
Peaches
Pears
Grapefruit

Grapefruit? Looks and tastes nothing like grapes. It is almost like someone ran out of ideas, and just added the word Fruit to another kind of Fruit. If you ask me, that is just bananas.

Placemats #2

Issue number One

full moon boom

There is a limit, which I have disregarded,
to how much shrimp cocktail
a person should eat in one sitting.

Right now in my stomach cooked, chilled and chewed sea bugs,
seasoned with a blend of ketchup, garlic, horseradish,
lemon juice and worstershire sauce
are having it out with a six pack of canned beer.

I'm sending in a gin and tonic to referee.

recipe

Cooking
pieces of me
in a simmering sauce
of mistakes

I can taste
those dreams
I was too afraid
to chase

The next me
growing
from the carcass
of the last

Too big now
for fear
to hold me
back

the sun was a left hook

The sun was a left hook from my blindside,
knocked me staggering from a nap
towards some air and clarity.
Squinting through questions and stepping over cracks,
lost in glossed over shadows,
I closed the door, my eyes, a thought,
then jumped into a pile of work.

Secret Identity

whats making that sound?

are those spots on my eyes or something in the sky?

the air is a soup we can hardly see.

a tree falls on a truck

dad has a heart attack

an elderly woman dies in a tornado.

its all true today,

you cant make that shit up.

theres even more stuff

you can add it here:

the soup's bigger than i thought

i still don't know what's making that sound.

I Swear

If I could...

Just for a moment
Let me massage your mind.

Close your eyes
To the world be blind.

Listen to my whisper....

It is time for GONE BYE BYE!

Spent

we've all stop listening
of that I'm sure
our minds filled up
and our hearts impure
what we're saying doesn't matter
and what we mean of no cause
the purpose is lost
which gives us no pause
to strike up a reason
and march ever on
to the useless and wasteful
until the next dawn

2010, Year of the Mustache

A mustache is the rainbow over your can of beer.

Ultimatum

Give me coffee
or I
give YOU Death

Check the Lost and Found, it's gotta be around here.

FORTUNE.

Never, EVER read your fortune until after you eat the cookie.
That's what she told me.
And I followed that advice
with every fortune cookie since.

But today, in an act of defiance, an act of independence...
I read the fortune FIRST.

marinating.

dogs

dogs are pretty essential.

Imp

The Wait

Sometimes people in the ghetto

Especially when it is very cold

Will pull up in front of another house

Where they are most likely picking

Someone up who doesn’t have a car

And they will honk the horn

Almost always 3 times

They peer uncomfortably

and anxiously across

The passenger seat

at the front steps and the door

But no one comes out

Then they honk again

Usually 3 more times but sometimes 4

Eventually someone will flee from the house

As though it is on fire

run down the steps and jump in the car

The funny thing is that for all the time spent

Honking and blocking traffic the driver could have

gotten out of the car and gone up to the front door

Knocked, gone inside, been warm, said hello

But then it always comes down to the same thing doesn’t it

The question being, where do you want to wait

riding high

too much is too much

Beyond the Believable.

Today while driving to work, I was listening to garbage talk radio.
They were bantering back and forth about a recall on my make of car.
Apparently, the accelerators to some cars have been "sticking,"
causing cars to speed-up without the ability to stop.

It caused me to daydream, more than usual, about crashing my car.

A near life experience.

Like Tyler.

So, I started accelerating, on purpose.
Just to see.
80 came up quick. Then 85.
87 mph brought on some shaking of the steering wheel.
At 90 I had a hard time controlling the swerves,
it is Minnesota in the winter after all.
At 100 I spun wildly.
I saw a woman's face singing switch to screaming as I passed
by her Buick going backwards.
Backwards, and spinning.

I think she dropped her cigarette into her lap, but I'm not sure.

I turned up the stereo and decided to go out listening to
that morning show REALLY loudly.

But, the most unbelievable thing happened.

My car started going the right way, in its own lane,
at 100 mph, and I had control. I figured that since I didn't
crash, that I would slowly let off the gas, and show up
for work.

Having driven at such high speeds for so long,
I figured I'd be REALLY early, but it only ended up being
a couple minutes earlier than usual.
Even still, I don't like being early, so I listened to the radio a little
while longer, and eventually walked in.

It is Beyond the Believable.

At least I'm still on TV

JUPITER.

we made it sturdy.
we made it sturdy with duct tape,
gallons of white glue and a
weeks' worth of news.
we made it sturdy with wire
and ribbon.
we used fabric and
wheat paste.
we made it sturdy with
chicken wire and brooms.
we made it sturdy.
we also made it as heavy
and awkward as a baby
elephant.

we made jupiter.

my feet are wet
because the snow
has melted inside my boots

there are glaciers
advancing and retreating
in my whiskers

the windows won't defrost
with the wet dog floor mats
so I leave the windows down
to dry them out

another dry air nose bleed
with the blood clots
and the alkaline drip
resorbing inside.

don't you agree?

The Moment Before

Infinite Myth

The moment before
One needs to be two
Is a choice
And the timing is
Impossibly meaningful
The results are
Like cells
Predetermined
Mapped and
Unpredictable
Separate
Combine
Separate
Combine
Light
Dark
Separate
Combine

once in a while i get the urge to be an artist.

Something just for me.

parked my car today in between jobs.
i tilted back the seat, and turned up my music slightly.

i began to push on my closed eyelids with my index fingers.

i saw stars.
and then white.
when i released the pressure, back to stars and blackness.

after waiting a moment,
i pushed in again, this time with childlike anticipation.
the stars returned, and so did the white.
back to stars and blackness eventually, and then i fell asleep.

when i woke back up twenty minutes later i
frantically looked at the time thinking i had overslept...

with five minutes to spare, i prepared myself and walked in.

i told my coworkers about falling asleep in the parking lot,
but kept the stars just for me.

not tears, that's rain.

:year of the mustache.

Honestly, I'm more comfortable in here

In his own way, Owen tended to give too much, whereas Les just always put his spare change in the tip jars. Some places didn't have tip jars, so Les faced a dilemma. The accumulated change started to make him feel uneasy. He had to be careful not to upset the balance of change distribution. Once he exceeded a dollar in his pocket he panicked and just decided to let Owen deal with it. So Les dumped it all into the water feature at the mall. Relieved Les went about his daily business.

In this ritual cycle Christmas trees are the fingernails of the forest, manicured, decorated, beheld, trimmed and spat into the garbage.

old house new dish

Kitchen

THERE IS NO TREE IN TEAM HAPPINESS.

it takes all that i got

it takes all that i got
to week through my workend
what's left can't fill a cup
can't lift a bottle
just curls into a fist
and melts into a puddle
with a splash, not a whimper
washed away to start again

don't quite know how to explain it.

skipping the courtship, straight to the punch.

i can clearly remember a dream from the other night
where i was married to audrey tautou.
i could speak french,
and she could endure me.
when i woke up i could no longer speak french, and
laying beside me was just a book written by some
art history doofus.
tonight, i am going to read some more of that garbage
in hopes that it will induce another make-believe
yet memorable marriage to someone out of my league.

i started a new band in my bathroom.

the other morning i was
shitting, and the farting
i was enjoying as a complimentary
add-on to the occasion was in such
great rhythm with the clanking
of the radiator that i added an
overlapping
'ping'
rhythm with a pen from my front pocket
on the side of the sink and the side of the
tank.
there are no other members to my band
yet.
but we could be called
something spectacular.

I'll just be waiting right here.

Wet streets
catching the
empty bar

all thats left
to take home
is the neon
hum